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3. You might be a lab owner if...

You Might Be A Lab Owner If…

• You have rust rings on your kitchen counters from putting the trashcans up there.
• You regularly clean out 50 tennis balls from under the couch.
• All of your trashcans are bungy-corded.
• Your gate is bungy-corded to prevent your labby from popping the latch again.
• You have a BIG supply of bungy cords for all lab occasions.
• Every piece of clothing you own, the sofa, the bed, and anything soft has lab fur all over it.
• You have a plastic kiddy wading pool in your backyard.
• You regularly find big paw prints on your kitchen counters.
• Every squeaky and fleece toy are missing their squeakers and stuffing.
• You have broken or mangled at least one finger (or torn a rotator cuff) on a leash walk when your labby spotted “prey” he wanted to chase.
• You have to buy a bigger bed to accommodate the new lab.
• You have to buy an extra pillow to accommodate the new lab.
• You buy an SUV to take your lab and his labby friends for frequent trips to the lake/river/ocean.
• Your backyard looks similar to an archaeological dig, complete with the dinosaur bones.
• Your floor is covered with dog drool and/or pools of water from sloppy drinking labs.
• You buy pizza so you can give the crusts (pizza bones) to your lab.
• You wait until the last minute to get dressed for work to avoid your lab’s muddy paw prints, drool and fur (or you put on an old overcoat to stay clean as you say good-bye).
• You have every land and water retrieval toy known to man (and lab).
• Your yard is full of brightly colored Frisbee pieces.
• You buy underwear more often than the average person to replace what your labby has eaten.
• Your children NEVER have dirty mouths and faces.
• Your lips are constantly chapped from labby kisses.
• You can never find a full set of shoes, because your labby has moved them all over the house.
• You have doggie beds covering the floor instead of area rugs.
• Your end tables are really crates covered with couch throws.
• You have to keep an extra keyboard for your computer around because labby drool clogs the keys.
• You clean out your fish pond for the season, and the first thing you dredge up is a black Kong dropped there during last year’s lab party!!!
• You never have to mop your kitchen floor because your labbies clean up every spill and crumb before you can get to it.
• Every time you take a shower, your labby joins you!
• You can never throw anything away, because your labby RETRIEVES it.
• Your car is covered with sheets, lab fur, lab drool, and there is often a distinct aroma of “wet labby” that those car air fresheners can’t disguise!
• Your alarm clock is a firm nudge by a wet labby nose (who wants to eat first and go out later!)
• Your mailbox is overflowing with dog catalogs and the UPS man knows your house from bringing all the boxes of dog goodies ordered from the catalogs!
• You regularly find your labby’s “hidden treasures” buried under the sofa cushions, bed pillows, the couch, and behind the TV!
• You have a child proof lock on your fridge because not only can your Lab open it, but takes the best leftovers for himself!
• You have permanent bruises on your legs at exactly the height of your lab’s tail!
• Your husband and you sit on the floor to watch TV because one Lab is sprawled out full length on the couch, and one Lab is sitting in the recliner!
• You are the only people who stand outside in -35 degree weather to throw a dummy for a dummy obsessed Lab with snow up to your butt!
• You are the only person who has dummies in their dish drainer with clean dishes!
• Your furniture is the latest fashion statement in sheets and dog hair!
• You don’t even think about throwing away that favorite toy that they have destroyed while they are looking unless you are prepared for the “staredown”!
• You put all of your shoes, remote controls, hats, gloves and anything else small in closets or on shelves to hide them from “Jaws!”
• You specifically buy baby carrots at the store for your new favorite snack and his too!
• It is a cold January day, and you have the sunroof to your car open so your Lab can stick his head out through the roof to catch the air!
• You give him his bag of new toys in the car on the way home from the pet store, and all he wants is the crumbs from the biscuits given to him by the cashier!
• At least one load of laundry a week is your lab’s: his blankets, pillow cases, towels, and of course, all those muddy, drooled on fleece toys he loves so much!
• Your Christmas tree had an “ornament-free wag zone.”
• You regularly clean his tennis balls in your dish washer.
• Your backyard has become a graveyard filled with basketball, volleyball, and soccer balls from matches long since past with your labs.
• Your labs do the pre-wash cycle, instead of the dishwasher, saving on your electric bill.
• The couch you placed in front of your living room window can’t accommodate the human household members, because the lab has commandeered it for keeping updated on outside activities.
• All wires and cables are tacked to your walls and ceilings rather than the floors!
• No matter how hard you try, you can’t paint without fur included.
• You have ever had to replace a broken living room window because your labby saw a) someone she really likes; or b) something she wants to hunt outside!
• You step out of the shower and never have to dry your legs below the knee.
• You come home and find a warm spot on the sofa or bed even if the lab is wagging his tail from afar.
• You never have to clean your ears deep down!
• You have difficulty putting your shoes/nylons/socks on because of “help”.
• You can’t have “private time” in the bathroom!
• You never have a neatly stacked woodpile because your lab keeps retrieving the logs!
• You find fur inside your nylons, including the new pair you just bought from the store.
• Your labby continues to bring you tennis balls to throw even when you are on the toilet or in the shower!
• Your husband agrees to have central air conditioning installed because your Lab (not you!) is too hot!
• You can’t finish the extra milk on your cereal because your Lab wants it.
• You find Lab slime in the birdbath.
• You need less covers in the winter because your Labs keep you warm in bed.
• If the windows in your house and car are all adorned in art by Lab drool and Lab nose.